AYE DEAD ON CAOIMHIN

What do you call a really old black person? Someone's grandfather

why did scooba steeve loose his flippers? because his head imploded after reaching an extremley high pressure point at the bottom of the ocean. unable to live, his memory was a bit less persistant.

How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

Sharvil has aids 4 times

A man walked into a bar, and clutched his stomach in pain as it was a steel bar and it hurts when you walk right into a steel bar.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

why couldnt justin beiber get into the club? because hes not legal

why did the man have an axe in his car he kills children with it

Two Chavs jump off a clift who wins? Neither the sport of Tomb stoning is considered non competitive much like jogging

One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

Well this is pointless.....

Why didn't the black lady become a doctor? After being awarded a Guggenheim Achievement Grant for film, she decided rather than going to school for her doctorate to instead spend time traveling in India, doing service work with the country's rather large homeless population.

Why do migets laught when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

a black is sexuel but a white nothin without a car.i mean im nothin i dont have a car i mean realy where do you get a car?its awesome but stupid.

hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

Why did the blonde fall down the stairs? Somebody tripped her.

Why does my friend pick up garbage? Because he is a garbageman.

Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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