Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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The day after Christmas a chain-smoker, a sex addict, and an alcoholic go to the doctor. The doctor tells the three friends that they need to quit their addiction or they will die. R.I.P. Tommy, Jacob, and Winston 1/1/2011

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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Dont read this joke

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Why did the boy die? He got hit by the school bus.

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Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

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Why did the white bartender kick out a black man and his Mexican friend out of the bar? It was closing time

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If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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lets bomb africa

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once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

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Why did the blonde's parents take away her car? She didn't pay for half the insurance like she said she would.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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How many jews does it take to change a baby's diper? I don't know my wife will do it.

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knock knock whos there? yo mama yo mama who? yo mamas mama!!

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whats worst than a trashcan full of dead babies? A baby eating the dead babies.

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What do you say to the woman who just got raped? Nothing you just raped her

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Rivals? Someone from the past? Erron, who is "WE"! Tell me now!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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