smell the vitamin C

When life gives you lemons, you throw them at your friends. If they throw them back, duck

Why did the boy go to his room? Because his father told him to.

What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

How can you tell if someone is a Mexican? Ask them politely if they're Mexican

how do demolish a building alkekwhakbar

A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

A cow and a goat are at the top of a hill. The cow starts to eat the grass, and the goat says, "Hey! That's mine!"

How did the black man cross the Atlantic? An airplane. He also could have used a boat. However, airplanes are a preferred form of travel.

What is brown, creamy, and tastes like gravy? gravy.

Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

What do a cow girl and an orange have in common? They all are fruit, except for the cowgirl.

whats long, hard and full of seamen submarine

What did Susie do when the music was too loud Nothing

whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

Why can Randy Moss Jump so high? Because he trained to jump high.

oh whatever Greece isn't going to leave the eurozone shut up about it already

What did the woman say to the black man in bed Good morning honey

Yo mama so old, she used to babysit Dumbledore

What did the man say to the teacup? Nothing. He was drunk and on the floor.

Roses are red, and blood is too. But violets are purple. NOT FUCKING BLUE.

knock knock who's there? the paperboy the paperboy who? i lied, i'm a serial rapist, you should have looked through the peephole

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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