In Soviet Russia, blonde is smart

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

roses are red violets are blue i have five fingers the middle ones for you

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

thumb_up thumb_down +11

WHATS A GREAT RAVE TUNE KANE !!!!! TUCKER !!!!!!!! DUH DUH DUH DUH DUH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why didn't the African kid eat lunch? He wasn't hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police, your entire family died in a car accident. ... ... The police, your entire family died in a car accident who?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What time is it? If I hadn't poked your eyes out, you might know.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red Violets are blue I have schizophrenia So do I

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops