What do you say on a date with Uma Thurman? Hey Uma, pass the salt.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What do you call a fish without gills? Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -43

adam hodgson !

thumb_up thumb_down -43

why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Have you seen Jennifer Aniston's newborn baby? Neither has she.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Two swallows migrate to Africa. One swallows initiates the conversation, that's when the other catch fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

A dog walks up to a puddle of pee and he starts to smell it

thumb_up thumb_down -47

How do you get a black man down from a tree? Cut the rope!

thumb_up thumb_down -47

what did the father say to his son whom had only one arm? hey son.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

thumb_up thumb_down -51

So a guy and his monkey walk into a bar I don't remember the rest of the joke but you mom is a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

thumb_up thumb_down -59

what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: What did the Catholic man say in response to the gay man asking what he likes to do? A: golf

thumb_up thumb_down +40

"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Whats smells like a banana and is purple? A banana, I lied about the purple thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops