A Muslim gets off his plane from Saudi Arabia to New York and walks to customs where a TSA agent asks him "what is you business in America?" The Muslim responds "I am here for a vacation". He walks on, and returns home 10 days later.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Two black guys were walking down a street to meet up a local drug dealer. Turns out the black guys were undercover cops who arrested the drug dealer and both recieved awards for finding the criminal.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Jews are human beings. Pizza is a type of food.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Hi im a joke i eat turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why was the boy sad because he had a cat stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Hi i love black men so much and i am a jewish faggot bye

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock Knock! Who’s there? Alligator! I'm positively sure that Alligators are unable to talk, now please tell me who this is before I call the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock Knock. Who's there? A little boy who can't reach the doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

do you know what Noah didn't bring on his arc? unicorns

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats funnier than a baby in a jar? A baby in ten jars.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Bob Saget

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why is water clear? Because it doesn't have a pigmentation.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops