What happened when the blonde girl threw a grenade? The enemy pulled the pin and threw it back

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You're in the middle of the ocean and you see a roller coaster. What color is the penny? Tree.

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WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

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– Hello. Is this a laundry? – Yes, it is a laundry.

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Black people.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

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Why can't Tommy ride his bicycle? Because Tommys' bike has a missing pedal.

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Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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what do you call one black man surrounded by ten white men.... A story teller

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how do you make Chuck Norris laugh? tell him an anti-joke.

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what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

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What's more greasy than grease? Kevin's hair

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Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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A man walked in to a bar, he ordered a few drinks, met some new friends and had a good laugh with them. Later that night, he got in his car and drove home, which was foolish, as he should have known that being under the influence of alcohol increases the percentage of a collision, which could take his life and the lives of others. He arrived home just fine and got in to bed with his wife who was happy to see him.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Nothing. Both of them are lifeless objects, thus lacking the ability to speak.

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What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops