Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

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why were the girls confused? they were in a logic class and couldn't seem to find the irrationality chapter in the book

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause it wanted to

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Q: What happened when Cupid shot his arrow into the guys heart? A: He died

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wake n shake = wake up and masterbate to a picture of drew e mom o.O

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What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

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A clueless chicken walks into a bar. Now being cooked on the BBQ.

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Only in your math books can Carlos buy 14 cantaloupes without hus sanity being questioned.

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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Knock Knock... Who's there? The FBI, you're going to jail. Really? No.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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why did the chicken cross the road? cause kade touches himself at night

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How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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Roses are red, My name is Dan, I have a gun, get in the van

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Yo mamas so fat, when she jumps in a pool she displaces a disproportionate volume of water.

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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Two ducks are in a bathtub. One duck says, "Hey, pass me the soap." The other duck says, "What do I look like, a type writer?"

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Chuck Norris.

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A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

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Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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