What did the Elephant say the other Elephant? We do not know. Their vocalization is still a mystery to us.

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Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

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Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

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i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

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What's awesome and looks like a pumpkin? An awesome pumpkin.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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What is similar between a horse and a zebra? - If you chopped of there heads, they would die.

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What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the first monkey? why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure.

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Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

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what did a poor guys get for christmast ? brain tumor.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A blind deer.

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Every time you log on to a porn site, somewhere a panda cub explodes. BOYCOTT PORNOGRAPHY. SAVE THE PANDAS.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't it's a dead baby!

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What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? I don't know, he couldn't open the presents.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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Thanks I guess, I do look a lot like that anime, except my eyes are not giant and I got lips and you know about everything else is different, besides I wear blue or brown contact lenses Ohh, and in case you had not already noticed, I dye my hair brown, believe me, there is enough red in me to go around already... Nero huh? Angelo Nero? So what kind of sick parents did you really have, or do you have? This is weird, you suddenly got even more interesting Nero.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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Q: What do you call a black man running for congress? A: Congressional Candidate

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What do you call a group of black people in a lamboghini..... Unlikely

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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