A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I would like a rum and............ Coke." The bartender asks, curiously, "What's up with the big pause?" The bear looks down at his paws, embarrassed, and mumbles under his breath, "social anxiety."

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How did baby Bobby spend his summer vacation? He didn't, he died from heat exhaustion.

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

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Why did Justin Bieber break his leg? Because, like you and I, he is faced with the same challenges and dangers on a daily basis, and should all take necessary precautions in his every day life.

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what did the African baby get for his birthday?..... AIDS

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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Someone told me once, but i had terrible memory so I had them tell me again.

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A blonde walks into a bar ouch

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Cheese and toast

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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How do you stop a car from hitting a kid? You don't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens don't have the cognitive capacity to reason. So you'd never know

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

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The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it was tree

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

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I had friends on the Death Star.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a penis and a knife choose which one goes in you.

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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Q. What did the mom say to the boy scout? A. He wouldn't be a happy camper.

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What did the black man say when he waked into KFC? Can I use the restroom?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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