Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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What did the boy call the man that kicked the cat? "Sad twat"

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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KENNAH CAMPIONS LAUGH

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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How did the stuntman die? He was gored by a buffalo on a trip to Yellowstone.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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Men

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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What's the difference between a gluten free cereal and a regular cereal? One has gluten, and one has no gluten.

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

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Where do the biggest potatoes grow? the ground.

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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