A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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Why doesn't Caillou have hair? Because he has cancer.

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What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Why is there a man painted green throwing forks at me

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

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What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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Friend's sister: how many seconds are in 12 o'clock Friend: alot Friend's sister: WELL THEN 12 O'CLOCK IS A REWERJAJSBDKDJDHRJRJFHFKRJRIDBDKSBSDJ *slams door*

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops