Why did the man shoot up the movie theater? Because he spent his whole child hood playing Call of Duty Black Ops II, Left 4 Dead 2, and Minesweeper. And video games, are the only thing that would rive someone to shoot up a movie theater.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the cow say to the horse? Mooo

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There once was a man from Kentuckit, who like to dissapear with his dog and clean up the shit using a plastic bag and put it in the allocated public bin.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what has 2 legs and red all over half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Guest what? Dog

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is the sky blue? Because it is

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +14

knock knock whos there boo boo who why are you sad my wife has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you fit 10 babies in a bowl? With a blender. How do you get them out of the bowl? You don't, you've already been arrested for multiple cases of infanticide.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the arm-less Ben fall off the swing? Gravity

thumb_up thumb_down +14

“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Of course, the capacity to create a better society, is well within the natural limits of humankind, we do not need Gods in order to be strong, honorable kind, respectful, and so on, we do not need empty promises. We only need, to use our potential as humans, believe in it, and do our best only, if we desire the best results, take care of those that suffer, and believe that they will be there for us when we need them. We can all do it, humanity, yet choosing a lifestyle where we become peasants or soldiers, all promised happiness AFTER we have lived our lives, is what the people have decided. This is the extent of the average man and woman, even if it is far beyond the power of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk? A person with an eye patch, no arms, and a mohawk.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do humans and trees have in common? -If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they fal down

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops