I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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Why did peter shake the baby? To kill it and rape its dead corpse

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A girl talks to here boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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k

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"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple

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What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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Why was the young girl sad? A doctor told her that due to the fact that she was recently raped, she contracted AIDS.

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Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

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A guy comes home from work every day to his wife, who always seems miserable. He decides that her unhappiness is making him unhappy aswell, so he sits her down to talk things over. It turns out she is depressed because she can't get a job and the back wheels of her wheelchair are rusting.

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination" and then he was resuscitated and became an atheist.

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why was the jew shaking hands with a nazi? they realized their differences and were bonding.

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kk

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Why do fat people make such good slaves? They're too fat and lazy to escape. Unfortunately, if you want your slave to be fat, you actually have to feed it properly.

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*insert corny "a man walks into a bar" joke here*

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whats a bike and rhymes with mike?

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How many finger does a normal person have? 8...and 2 thumbs!!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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