Terraria

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what do you call a child with bruises on his face? Child protective services.

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Roses are blue Violets are buckets this poem makes no sense Washing machines

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

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justin bieber is a good singer april fools haha you thought hell had frozen over

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What did the mute boy get for his birthday? i dont know he didnt tell me

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How did the man break his arm raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.

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What did the deaf boy get for Christmas? Something like udgtationdaidnmgf

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kelly Oh hi Kelly! Long time no see! I know! I've been my working fingers to the bone ever since I got that promotion and I barely have any free time! That must be tough. It is but it pays bills! Being a mother of three isn't a task for the faint of heart. Now Kelly,I was wondering how you thought of the remodeled kitchen....

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Roses are red And heres something new Violets are violet They're not friggin blue

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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Penis.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Kindly ask him to come down.

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Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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