What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Did you hear about the Polish couple taking selfies while on vacation in Portugal? They fell off a cliff and died in front of their children. True story.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dead cat.

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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A horse shits himself SHITLESS!

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

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What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

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What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie Thum thump Who's there Bethany Hamilton

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Q:whats the difference between grass and a car? A:They all have wheels, except the grass

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gay pom...

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I walk into a bar...

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Why was Jimmy sad he couldn't play the Playstation? He didnt have one

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non poop

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops