This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is notified, and the duck is released into a nearby park.

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q. What's the worst thing about your family a. There related to you

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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Why is it interesting to watch your mum shower? It's Not, its sick you pervert

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What is the difference between a Homosexual and a Heterosexual? They are both Black.

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There's a black man and a mexican in a car who's driving ? The black man because the mexican is intoxicated and they both want to prevent serious injury or death

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A ninja walked into a dojo and was kindly greeted by his master.

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How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting at your doorstep? matt what do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the water? bob what do you call a man that just had his daughter taken away from him? ...sam

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What did the father say to his son, who incidently shot his brother while they were playing with a gun home alone? "It happens." He then hung himself.

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Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

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what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

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A: Do you like it B: No

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Why couldn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it was dead, thus incapable of independent movement.

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There are two muffins in the oven. The first says to the other, "Its getting hot in here." The second, befuddled, replies, "AHH! A talking muffin!"

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.....

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem is stupid.

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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The queen having a shit

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My little league baseball coach measured the team for cups. Its 9 years later and we still dont have those cups.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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