The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

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Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Whats worse than Lindsey Lohans vagina? Nothing.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? It wasnt due to the fact that numbers have no feeling.

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Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

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what did the blond do when her house was on fire? she called the fire department, because that would be the correct thing to do in such a situation.

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what is 3+3= 8

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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Why did the toddler fall over? He's an Iraqi child and has been shot in both legs, being readied for a public execution for fighting on the opposing side.

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Q.How many dinosaur species can jump as high as a house? A.All of them, houses can't jump

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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Flowers are colors Love me

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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Some guy pretends to be Santa on the street. He touches a little girl and says "It's okay i'm Santa" So the pedophile Santa molestes the little girl. The little girl goes home and says that Santa touched her so the parents go looking for this guy. And then they find out he died of a heart attack.

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Why did grandpa climb the phone pole with bananas in a backpack? He has a debilitating disease. He is slowly losing touch with reality.

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen? A truckload of dead babies.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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A man walks into a bar after a hard day of work, and he meets this girl and they really kick it off, so the girl says, "lets go somewhere more, private" and they both go to a more secluded bar that has less decibels of noise.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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