A lonely man walks into a Self-Esteem class. He sits alone in the back because of his low self-esteem. Forever alone.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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a man walks out of a gas station and sees an indian with his ear to the road. He walks up to him and the indian says "truck... ford truck... large man in front with flannel shirt and trucker cap... german sheperd in passenger seat... licence plate 4563u6." Amazed the other man says " wow, you can tell all of that just by listening to the road?" The indian says "no thats a the truck that ran over me five minuites ago"

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Neo Nero, why did you not tell me that Nero7 is dead? When was the funeral held? Where is he buried? At point Zero? Please I need to know, he was basically my father, or rather all that my father never was, at least I dont have to wonder if he will ever come back... I understand your anger, even if I am not even close to following your extreme ideals, please tell me the code, the proof that you are not one of the Spetznas or the Nazi`s. "Eliza"

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Well... My reputation is still kinda exaggerated apparently. What you experienced is called astral projection, some people claim it is the same as lucid dreaming, I beg to differ, the difference is vast. You basically just admitted that people believe much more in you, than you believe in yourself, without believing hypnosis does not work, people are like "bah its just suggestions", its true, but underestimating the power of suggestions is a pretty bad call.

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I told my two lesbian friends I wanted to join them. I am a priest in a Gay Marriage friendly state and they are happily married.

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Uh... You know them N words... When they come crashing into the neiborhood the neiborhood quality drops and gets totally destroyed youknow what im sayan? Uh yeah sure totally... Then you know they spread around smell up dirty and toxicify the whole area, they become so fat and loud and like take everything away from you. Yeah HEIL KKK!! WUUT? I was talking Aboot them Nukular warheds! You you... SOMETHING! Hey! Dont get offensive man, sorry I was just KIDDING!... yeah... KIDDIIING!

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quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

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What do call something that looks exactly like a turtle but is not a turtle? A picture of a turtle

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on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sarah!

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What starts with p and ends in orn? Popcorn

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How much weight can an ant carry up a mole hill? Ice cream has no bones.

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Okay lord and master, now get lost, I am trough with you, I have other things to get done, XD My nose is so itchy XD

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how does cody get laid? he doesnt.

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What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

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Why did the bunny cross the road? Because it waited until a car was driving by and then got run over.

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i like my coffee like i like my women. without a penis

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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Who ate my sandwich? The office appliance that fell from the sky.

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How do you make a man cry? you torture him

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What do a black man and a cop have in common? They are both not cabbages.

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but I'm late for work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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