Roses are red, violets are blue, twilight is gay and Justi Bieber too.

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Someone left the gate open.

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Conversation: Hey dawg? Whats that? Hey, remember curiosity killed the cat! You threatening me on my life and calling me a pussy? Im calling the cops. ...Because like Larsons some of my ideas suck, but since I am an asshole I also add them to fill some space.

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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An early Jewish man walks into a bar where a number of stormtroopers have gathered for drinks and is taken into custody and then transported by railcar to a camp where he and other persecuted minorities are deliberately imprisoned in a relatively small space with inadequate facilities where they await their eventual mass execution.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Fire extinguisher? One puts out a fire the other one fuels it.

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the boy live on the street? He was an orphan.

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Q: What did little Jimmy get his grandfather for Christmas? A: Nothing his grandfather died on Thanksgiving

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What's worse than getting a papercut? Literally anything.

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Justin with a hat.

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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A girl asks a guy are you finish. The guy says no I'm British.

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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what came first the chicken or the chips

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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