Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'll choke you with a hose

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why did the boys run from Michael Jackson? because they thought he was a ghost

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot. WOW your racist!

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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Jesse likes to jack off and lick the white stuff off of his balls and digest it

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Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

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hi

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Why did the chicken successfully cross the road? It didn't in the middle of the street it got hit by a car.

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Whats worse than getting shot in the foot? Watching each member of your family get shot in the foot.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

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mommy mommy! why are we pushing the car over the cliff?! the mom answers shhh youll wake your father...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

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nothing

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What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing, walls are inanimate things therefore it cannot talk.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

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Why didnt sally throw out her lunch? Her mom had a miscarriage, she was never born.

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Yo mama so ugly... she has an extremely bad burn on her face.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because Osama bin Laden is dead.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple that got hit by a bus.

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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A white man, a black man, and a Mexican board a plane. The white man watches the on-flight film. The black man watches the on-flight film. The Mexican also watches the on-flight film. At the end of a long flight, they leave the plane and go do whatever it is they planned to do at their destination.

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His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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