how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw them

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Why doesn't Jonathan Walk across the road? Because he is in a wheelchair...

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People spending hours typing nothing but cus words? Who does that?

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Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

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What did one dog say the the other dog? "We are both dogs"

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What did the lawyer name is daughter? Caroline, in honor of his grandmother who died in THe Holocaust.

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Daniel is a fag

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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A blonde walks into an electrics shop and asks to buy a television set. The shop-owner explains that she is signalling a microwave and is concerned for her mental wellbeing.

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How many babies can you fit in an oven? Depends how hungry you are.

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What's dirtier than an ice cream cone rolled in dirt? The dirt it was rolled in.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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why did the T-Rex eat the other dinosaur? Because it is a carnivorous animal.

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why did the chicken cross the road? there was a black man walking towards him

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What walks on four in the morning, three at noon, and two at night? A baby with leprosy.

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Tie her down and plant a bamboo seed under her.

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a man checks his mypsace

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

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Why didn't the priest move in with the two rabbi? Because having three adults between the ages of 18 and 65 occupying the dwelling would have violated their insurance policy.

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Q: why did the boy fall down when he was walking home? A: he was murdered.

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Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

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Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops