Two guys walk into a bar, have a good time, and exit the bar, relatively sober. They are driven home by a friend who agreed to be the designated drive for safety purposes and enjoy the rest of the evening with their wives, to whom they are happily married. Then the joke ends abruptly.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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A dog was dying on the side of the road. I drove 50 meters ahead and saw it again. I was on shrooms.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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I'm gay.

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MILLERS FUNNY LIKE A JEW

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Mary had a little lamb. Then Died.

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Just gonna stand there and watch me roar. But that's alright because I am a dinosaur.

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Two men are walking along the Great Wall of China. "Do you know how many years it took to build this?" one man asked. "Yes," the other replied. "Me too."

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POOP.............................................. ITS THE FUNNEST WORD OF ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What is worse then losing your remote? Falling off a cliff landing on a sharp rock and dying slowly.

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass.

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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A man walks to a baseball game what does he see? Many people

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What do u call a bunch of white dudes siting on a bench ......the NBA

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What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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A hill billy went fishing

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What's big, white, and red all over? A refrigerator that happened to fall on a small child.

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Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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an islamic man with a strange bag walk into thr airport. he is probably heading toward his flight like any other person.

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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