While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

This is a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

3 guys are walking in the woods there are 3 paths they each take a path. the first path lead to a shed that said blowjobs 25 cents the second path lead to the same place after they all made it threw the first guy said he got a blowjob so dose the second guy. the third guy said i made 50 cents

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock Who is there? The IRS coming to take your house

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the black man walk across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is worse than an 11 year old getting raped You getting caught

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q:What do you call chocolate without a gag reflex? A: Choc-o-late (Choke a lot)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats the difference between wayne rooney and shrek? Well, one, shrek is fictional. Two if he was fictional,he is green. Wayne rooney is not green. Three wayne rooney plays for a football team, surely shrek has no idea what football is. The list goes on.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the little boy afraid of the dentist because he was a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you get when you cross a child and jt Rape

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock whos there i have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who Cream cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a bag full of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops