Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

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The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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What's worse than a joke. ONE TOLD BY FOK.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

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Nero I know I am being a selffish bastard, but please let me speak with you for ten more minutes or so, I am sorry but its like part of me do not believe its you, we all saw your corpse, attended your funeral, please stick with me, I just feel flustered vulnerable and stupid.

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Roses are red, violets are red. Aaaaaahh! My garden's on fire!

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Why do people waste time reading these jokes. Because they like anti jokes.

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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What is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into your grandmother and finding a fish

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. Nothing the Holocaust was the single worst thing to happen ever.

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

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What do you call a building full of Mexicans? JAIL.

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6 in every 9 people find a dirty reference in every joke. This statistic is in fact false, as 5 in 9 people actually find a dirty reference.

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69.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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If there's somethin' strange in your neighborhood Who ya gonna call 911

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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