Why is facebook ruining all of the world's social skills? Because Mark Zuckerberg has Asperger's.

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Shit, I can't think of anything to write. That does not mean I'm black

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A man sits down to dinner with his wife And she notifies him that their 8 year old son just died

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

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Q. Why did the teacher trip and fall? A. Because his left foot was gnawed off by a camel, and he often finds it difficult to walk.

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how many jews can you fit into a car 5, two in the front three in the back

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what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

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A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

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Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

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I saw a sign saying Falling Rocks. But no, no it doesn't.

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Why didnt the chicken cross the road? Because he got hit by a bus.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

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Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

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-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

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What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

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why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

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What is worse than writing a really terrible joke on anti-joke.com? Death.

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Where did Susie go during the explosion? On her knees to catch it.

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why did the bear fall out of the tree? He died. Why did the raccoon fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the bear.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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