What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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What has many legs, but can't walk? A dead spider.

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Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

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You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

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What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing. He doesn't have a cat.

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A man accidentally chops his thumb off while preparing his dinner for the night. He immediately calls an ambulance and has his thumb preserved which is later reattached back onto his hand. He then continues his dream career as a solo pianist.

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Q: What did the Jewish man say to the Muslim man? A: Hello, how are you today? Nice weather we're having, isn't it?

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

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What did the oboe say to the trombone? SQUEEEEEEK

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As I was riding my bike down the road, I saw a young boy being raped in a dark alley way. I proceeded to pedal and acted like i had seen nothing.

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Roses are red, Violets are too. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing infliction.

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Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

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Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? Niether did she

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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A man had two horses. One was black and one was white. He cut the tail of one of them to tell them apart.

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A boy walk in. What did you think I was gonna add "into a bar"? Also, boys under the age of 21 aren't allowed to drink.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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Why couldn't Jimmy wash his hair? He has leukemia and therefore no longer has hair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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