what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

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Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

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A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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your mom is so black that it can be assumed she is of african descent

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yo momma is so stupid she went and got her self checked for mental retardedness and it turns out she happens to be autistic.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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Justin Bieber

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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69

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How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He was he was astronomically and improbably lucky.

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More mindfuck: Your school is betraying you edition. How are you going to feel good about yourself, if you have to UNDER STAND everything you learn? Moral: If you dont get it, you are not ready.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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Ask me if I'm a tree? Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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A woman says Renae has a butt... Two men say we don't care we have her hammer. True story.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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