IT SOUNDS SO WROOONG! Actually I was thinking more about when I go short sentences, you go short, then I decide to put in like 500 lines in a single comment and then you do. Besides I call it caps! And no, I do not want you to be like me, there was already another me, it was a complete bitch killing him, I mean if I did not know a lot worse, I would say his chances at kicking my ass where equal. By the way, that "you you seducer" totally sounded like something Donald Duck would say, I dig Donald, so I guess I am into cartoons.

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How do you get someone off a swing? ask them politely.

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Why couldnt the girl ride her bike? becuase she was dreaming she actually doesnt have a bike her family is poor in these hard economic times.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

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A man lying in bed at night rolls over and starts rubbing his wife's back. She says, "Not tonight, honey, I have a headache." Her husband respected her wishes and went to sleep.

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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Why do you do when a homeless man asks you for money Scream bicycle and then run

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There is no I in team... But there is a u in suck. There is no I in team, but there is in awesome

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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What's red, white, and blue? light purple

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What did the red paint say to the blue paint? They said nothing. Paints don't talk and you need to see a doctor if you answered anything else.

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what did the father say to his son whom had only one arm? hey son.

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What did the marshmallow say to the other marshmallow? We are both bananas.

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chuck noris- can swim through land god- can walk on watter i- can run on air

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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I suck at online but have a high gamerscore

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Often, Asians argue that they can speak properly... Like instead of L's, they use "R's." Sure... http://eng.tekkenpedia.com/wiki/Leo#Introduction

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A man walks in a bar he talks to the bartender aand he tells him a joke about him and hs friends. how do you find out his name? You killl the bartenders friends and family untill he talks.

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Why did the black man cross the road? he just wanted to cross the road, racist. ... after he had robbed a bank

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Bob: Say this word that I spell out. Jane: Ok Bob: N.I.N.A. Jane: Um...Nina? Bob: Correct. Now try N.I.N.O. Jane: Nino like el nino Bob: Good. How about N.I.N.E. Jane: Ninny? Bob: Hahaha wrong

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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