Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I got a baseball bat can i talk to you ?

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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"Why did the clown fall off the swing" "he was shot in the face"

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Did you hear the joke about the butter? No.

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Rebecca Black just died, she walked into a stadium and was overwhelmed by the amount of seating choices.

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What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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Hillary Clinton and 2 male aides were on a plane on a Friday evening which us not unusual for a secretary of state.

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How did the chicken perform the bank robbery? It was crossing the road and cluelessly walked into a bank, and EVERYONE in that bank had Chickenphobia so they just GAVE him the money...

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If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

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Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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Whats worse than being a jew? Having all of your friends viciously murdered at a party that you weren't invited to.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ...because chickens love to confound people.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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Wanna hear a joke??... No...... oh ok :(

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Why did the man lose the poker match in the jungle? He was playing a cheetah.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? a guy who copies antijokes on ant joke.com

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What was sandusky's role at penn state turned tight ends into wide receivers

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Richard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops