what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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Two Gay Men Walk Into a Bar, Not Just Any Bar...... a Sports Bar and Enjoy a nice cold Beer with their Heterosexual friends while watching the super bowl. They both go in the back room, where it is dark, together........ and they call for the manager to find out where the chef is so they can tie him down..... and smother him....... in questions concerning the size of his....... buffalo wings stop judging people you ass.

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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If there are 50 bricks on an airplane, and 3 fall off, how many are left? It does not matter how many are left, however, the 3 falling bricks pose a serious safety threat and more should have occurred to properly secure the bricks from falling from the aircraft.

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

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T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 1: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 2: Who is it? ...... *next house* T-mobile girl: Knock knock. Random person 3: Come in.

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Knock knock Who's there Why? Why who? Why so serious?

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What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

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Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

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Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

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Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no? sense Microwave

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If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

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Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

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Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall? He was committing suicide.

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

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Whats worse than cold feet? getting your feet chopped off.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops