Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: He wasn't, it turns out 7 was afraid of 6 because 6 beat 7 up in high school

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What's smaller then a midget? A baby midget.

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What's worse than swing a dead baby by a rope? Stopping it with a shovel.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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How did the blonde die? Frogs teleported from the future and brutally murdered her with forks.

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What was the last song those aboard the Titanic sang? "Staying alive"

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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Knock knock. Knock knock. Knock knock. I'm hammering nails. Knock knock.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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What did the dog say to the house? Roof

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How do you scare a brunette? Hide behind a door or wall until the unsuspecting person walks by, then jump out and yell.

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There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

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what do you get when you cross ruddell with a chicken? still a prick

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Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

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What's worse than a worm in your holocaust? An apple.

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it

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What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

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Father Time and Mother Nature did the nasty, and had a kid called humanity. It had down syndrome. Very sad.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? gloves.

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Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

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A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

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what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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