What's slippery when wet? A wet slipper.

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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obama

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A muslim in Iraq was sniped in the head by US forces. He was a terrorist, who killed 18 innocent people.

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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Wanna hear a joke? (Yeah, sure) So do I, got any?

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Three blondes walk into a bar...and have a nice evening, until one of them pulls out a gun and murders everyone at the bar, i think she was schizophrenic or something.

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Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

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What did the little boy with cancer ask for from the Make a Wish foundation. A cure and to lose his virginity before he dies.

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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What did the young Muslim man have attached to him? A book-bag, it was is his first week college and he eager for an education.

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"Really, how is your wife?" "You know she's dead right?" "Cool mine too!" They high five in mid air and lived happily ever after

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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knock knock who's there aids aids who ... dumb ass

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why couldn't the child with down syndrome zip up their jacket.... it was a button jacket ... you asshole

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops