Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" the Eggman and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

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chuck noris- can swim through land god- can walk on watter i- can run on air

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"Knock knock," "Who's there?" "Black man," "Black man who?" "Gimme yo money!"

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why were the girls confused? they were in a logic class and couldn't seem to find the irrationality chapter in the book

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Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

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one of my best friends is blind and hasn't been able to see anything hhis entire life but he can hear a hummingbird from 50 yards away i mean, talk about worthless..

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson bleeding, I spelled " red" wrong

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A man is taking a shower in jail where he drops the soap. He proceeds to pick the soap up and cleans the rest of his body, puts his orange jumpsuit on and returns to his cell.

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Women's rights

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat salad instead of sandwiches because she wants to lose weight by going on a no-carb diet.

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Sammy bought 48 donuts. He ate 36. What was Sammy left with? Diabetes. Sammy was left with diabetes.

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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There was an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman. Now there's millions of them. And women too.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

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Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

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whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops