You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

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Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

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Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

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What did cancer get for Christmas? Another 6 year old boy

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why is the sky blue? - because you have herpes.

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This sentence is a lie.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because there were no cars coming

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Pull my finger ouch..

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What do you call a black mailman? By his name.

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A Jew, A priest and a Muslim go into a pub,put their differences aside and have a good time!

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What do you call 47 black people dead at the bottom of the ocean? A terrible hate crime

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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Why are kids with Aspergers Syndrome always banned from Mcdonalds? Let me repeat that: Ass Burgers.

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I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

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What make's a constuction worker drop's his hammer? MC Hammer moves.

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What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops