Q. Why did the lady scream when she saw her husband? A. Because he was dead.

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A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

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Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

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What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

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What did your Little brother get for Christmas? Lice.

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How do you fit 76 babies in a bath tub... With a blender. How do you get them back out? With tortilla chips.

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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What is black, white, and red all over A penguin in a blender

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how did the man jump over the mountain? it was a small mountain and he had a trampoline

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What to hear an anti-joke? No.

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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Why don't black people listen to country music Because every time they here hoe down the think there wife just got shot No sorry for anybody who's black I luv ya don't think twice I have thirty blk friends

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What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

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What did the Shark attack victim say just before she died from her injuries? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call a bunch of whiteguys running down a hill? An Avalanche What do you call a bunch of black guys running down a hill? A Mudslide What do you call a bunch of mexicans running down a hill? A Jailbreak

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What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

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What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

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An old man walks into a movie theater, has a stroke, and dies as his family screams for help and attempts to revive him to no avail.

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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