4/20 is a holiday just like Christmas.. I lied you just get baked

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

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A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "So why are you so happy?" The amputee doesn't answer because he has been completely deaf, blind and mute since birth.

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A man walks into a bar The bartender asks: What would you like to drink?

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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Why dont polar bears eat peguins? Because they live on opposite ends of the earth and it would be physically imposible!!

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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The funniest thing about this joke is that by the time you realise it doesn't say anything its to late to stop reading it

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What is a white man in a white shirt called A white man in a white shirt

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five fingers The third one's for you

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Tod:Hey Rick wanna hear a joke?Rick:No.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Oranges can't talk therefore this is not a accurate accusation.

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Q. whats worse then eating a slice of cheese? A. Finding out your mom has a penis

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there were 2 black men and a mexican man in a car. who as driving? we cant tell from the problem but is is more likely it is a black guy because there are 2 of him and 1 mexican.

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This is my favorite antijoke.

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Q. Why do some people not like anti-jokes? A. They don't find the humor funny.

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Where's my tractor?

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Roses are Red, uh..uh..ahhhhh oh shit I just came that curse is true

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So a woman took her drivers test today Since she passed, and tomorrow is her 16th birthday, tomorrow she will have the legal privlage to get her license.

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What's worse than finding an apple in your worm? Lebron traveled

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What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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