COME HERE, POTTER!!!! NOW!!! Instead of agreeing to approach the source of the rather hostile summoning, Potter decided to sit down and eat a healthy vegetarian lunch of sausages and chips.

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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What is the difference between a white gut and a black guy? The level of melanin in their skin.

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What did tyler say to Jake? My pussy is wet jew

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Elephant. Elephant who? Seatbelt.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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What did jimmy get for dinner? Food

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If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

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Why did Justin Bieber bieber his bieber? Because Bieber biebers his bieber when his bieber need a bieber bieber. BIEBER

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why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

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What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

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A woman says Renae has a butt... Two men say we don't care we have her hammer. True story.

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

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Amazing

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A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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A blonde went to a hair dresser's one day, listening to a walkman. The hair dresser asked her what she wanted, and the blonde replied, "I need to get my hair trimmed, just make sure that you do not take these headphones off." The woman looked at the blonde, surprised, but did as she was told. While she was brushing the blonde's hair, she accidentally bumped the headphones, knocking them to the ground. As she bent down to pick them up, the blonde fell over, onto the floor. The hair dresser was very confused. She picked up the head phones and listened. This is what she heard..."breath in...breath out...breath in...breath out..."!

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

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What is worse than 10 babys in 1 garbage can? 1 baby in 10 garbage cans.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't sexual abuse, which her sister had experienced while traveling around the world in 2007.

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How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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