A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "So why are you so happy?" The amputee doesn't answer because he has been completely deaf, blind and mute since birth.

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Q: What did the kid say after he told a stupid joke? A: Well they banned me from Anti-Joke!!

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Why did I write this joke Because I'm board as hell

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4/20 is a holiday just like Christmas.. I lied you just get baked

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what did the man write down? nothing,because at that time, his pen was out of ink, so he had to open his dest drawer to get another one

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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A white man and a black man enter a public toilet. When they both begin to pee, the white man looks over at the black man. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype, and then feels slightly depressed over his closet homosexuality. Both men leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself asleep that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

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Knock Kock Who's there Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley is a fictional character in the novel To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Don't cry.

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why was the kid crying? because he had to go to school GDS*

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Why does my friend pick up garbage? Because he is a garbageman.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Why dont polar bears eat peguins? Because they live on opposite ends of the earth and it would be physically imposible!!

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su algato es en fuego

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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LO AND BEHOLD!

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What's two plus two? Window

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Why do people hate Jews? Because there is nothing to like about them

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Guess what? Random shit. Why? Because almost nobody looks at the newest jokes to realize that 99.999% of jokes that just say random shit never get above the 0 mark.

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im telling maguire

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What do you call a really old black person? Someone's grandfather

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Chuck noris is so awesome that he brings a knife to a gun-fight, and wins

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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