Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" The man replies "Surprise me." The bartender proceeds to mix cyanide with the mans drink and loses his bartending license and goes to prison for murdering a customer.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock knock! Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave Smith. Oh, hey Dave. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit and. the bear eats the rabbit in a whole bite without chewing...end of story...the end

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

thumb_up thumb_down -18

when i yell your name i probably want your attention :) S.H.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

i am 26 why was i kidnapped 13 years ago cause i was in a badly written play

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats worse than the holocaust? Ryan

thumb_up thumb_down -18

two friends are hanging out, one says to the other "whats 5 plus 5" the other says, "you know i didnt finish school and i dont appriceate you making fun of me" the other boy looks away and walks off

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If John had 4 apples and gave 2 to Mary, what is the circumference of the sun?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's the difference between an apple and a fruit? None

thumb_up thumb_down -18

There's two bears in a bathtub, One looks at the other and says "hey can you pass the soap?" the other bear says "what do i look like a light bulb?"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: A black man, A Mexican, And a Asian are in a car. Who Is Driving? A: The Cop.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

LO AND BEHOLD!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Roses are red violets are blue I'm a bitch and so are u????????

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats white and rubs stuff out ? An albino with a rubber.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What is spiky and opens up wide? The Mouth…what were you thinking you perv?

thumb_up thumb_down -18

one of my friends died of heartburn today :( i cant believe gav is gone

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

When geese migrate, why is one side of the V longer than the other? There are more birds on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a human with no eye? A Human.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops