What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

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roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

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Why did the boy spill his lemonade? He was attacked by ravage dogs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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What's worst than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Finding a grammatical error on anti-joke.

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ROSES ARE RED VILOTS ARE BLUE I HOPE YOU KNOW IM A JEW

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Bill Walters from across the street. How are we talking through a door?

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What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

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PENIS that is all

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Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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why was the little boy brutally murdered? there was a serial killer in his town.

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What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

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What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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