A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Why did the jew go to the doctors? Because he had a severe headache.

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your mother is a well respected woman in society and makes delicious cookies.

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hi joshua

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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what did the little boy say when the teacher asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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What did Washington say to California? WC

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Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

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why did the woman commit suicide? because 2+2=4

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your mom is so stupid she has a low iq

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What is Hellen Keller's favorite movie? Around the block in 80 days.

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Q: If you see a gipsy drowning, what will you throw him?! A: His family.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? An opera singer singing in the shower

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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knock knock who's there Steve Go away

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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