Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He stepped on a piece of a shattered bottle from a bar fight. Don't worry, though, it was just a little cut and he felt fine after a few beers.

A man walks into an insane asylum and says hello-The inmates assault him with mindless babble. A man walks into an insane asylum and says argblthenthrozaphowea-The inmates say hello.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

Chuck Norris has appeared in several action films.

What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

What's black and white and red all over? My dog after she was hit by a car (true story)

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

Q: What's black, long, and floppy? A: Black Licorice

What's worse than being a midget Being a midget with no legs

If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

What do you call a boy that was once a boy, but no longer is a boy? A Man

If you took all of the garbage produced in New York City in just one week, and put it in the middle of Central Park, the stench would be unbelievable.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

What's blue and fluffy? Blue fluff.

Butterfly is standing on a flower. Cow comes and steps on that flower

What color is cotton? White Well in Afrca, they grow black cotton

24

Why didn't the boy eat his soup? It was to hot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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