Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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What did the bus say to the short bus? Heh, you're retarded..

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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How do you confuse a blonde? I guess the same way you confuse someone of any other hair color.

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what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares

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Do you know whats funny? No do you know i was asking a question

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What's better then a bad anti joke? A Good anti joke.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? An opera singer singing in the shower

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Why couldn't the young african american read? He was born blind

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so a huge calculator walks into a bar, and a man steps out from behind it, and wipes his forehead.

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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Knock knock. Who's there. Suidi Arabia. Suida Arabia who? Huh? I was too busy loading my weaponry

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Friend's are like penguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

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What would the Swatch be called if it was made by a Croatian company? A Crwatch.

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What would you do if Spider Man gave you super powers like his? Nothing. Spider Man is not real therefore you are most likely dreaming and need to wake up soon.

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Two men are talking: Bob: "Do you like fishsticks?" Joe: "Yes I do." Bob: "Your a gay fish."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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