What do you do with a baby with a broken jaw? Deepthroat.

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Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

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Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

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What's worse than getting AIDS? shaking hands with a liberian doctor. Knock Knock Who's there? Ebola

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What did Tim's grandma get him for his birthday? Nothing, because Tim's grandma died in a car accident 2 years ago

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I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

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Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

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Terry's penis oh wait! what penis But I'm not a rapper

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Q: What did Bobby get for his first birthday ? A: Adoption papers

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knock knock whos there banana banana who knock knock whos there orange orange who orange you glad I didn't say banana

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Nothing. He made it home safely.

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What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

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What did the Jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews celebrate Hanukkah.

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

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Q: Why was the math book sad? A: Because he recently found out that his parents died in a tragic car accident.

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So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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Q: What did the kid say after he told a stupid joke? A: Well they banned me from Anti-Joke!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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