What do you call John Lennon without glasses? A skeleton, because John Lennon is dead.

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What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Why was Junior sad? His parents were killed in a car crash.

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roses are red violets are violet hey look up there! Its a suicide pilot!

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WTF THINKING: "If you are going trough hell go back to where the path to hell began just get the fuck out of there you stupid dumbass muddaf0cker" "If you feel life is pushing you five steps back for each one you go forward, just turn your fucking back to your goal and you will get there in no time" "Never ever ever ever ever give up" -Fucking inspiring when you just give up after a certain number of "evers" "IT IS BETTER TO REIGN IN HEAVEN THAN TO SERVE IN HEAVEN!" "I forgot the rest" Nero the ONLY moralman (Fuck Neronism and they copying my shit, I am the only psychopath animal theRAPIST in town! (Female animals only, you think I am a pervert or something? Be ashamed you perverted deviant!)

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What the problem with writing an anti-joke? Trying to not come up with a punchline.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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There once was a man from Dundee, Whose Limericks ended on line three. I don't know why.

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Why do black people like chicken? Because it's tasty, nutritious and easy to cook.

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Y' can't spell rape without ape.

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What do you call a black man that likes potatoes? Whatever his name is.

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A teenager decides to stay home instead of go to college. His parents are fine with his choice since he is mentally ill.

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matt has ebola...funny right!?

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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Nero, I mean it, I want you and your wife to have 15 million dollars, it wont buy you the happiness you seek, but it helps no?

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A boy walk in. What did you think I was gonna add "into a bar"? Also, boys under the age of 21 aren't allowed to drink.

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Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

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Your mom is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat outside, people notice a rather large woman who is enjoying the weather and wearing a yellow raincoat.

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whats up and also down? your mum

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What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

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Whats funny about a man in a pink leotard ? Nothing infact i think he's very brave

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Justin Bieber.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? they have different colored hair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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