Knock, Knock Who's there? Dave. Dave, who? Dave, your neighbor, I ran out of eggs making a quiche, could I borrow a few?

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

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How do you make an apple puff? Put the apple in a large pan with some water. Cover and cook gently for 20-25 minutes until soft. Add sugar and nutmeg to taste. Transfer to a bowl and leave to cool. Cover with pastry and bake until well-risen and golden.

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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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Why was the fat girl a virgin? Good morals

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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ROSES ARE RED VIOLETS ARE BLUE I LIKE TITS TITS

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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What do you call a puppy with one eye, one ear, and one leg? An ugly mother f*cker.

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Why cant white guys jump? Well that would be wrong because some can. Have you seen Blake Griffen?

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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what is chuck norris's favorite food? lasagna.

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A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

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What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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The american education system.

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Dylan Hodge's mother touches her own butthole at night. Joshua Brown's sister rubs Josh's earlobes passionately. Brock is a fag. Jacob is Awesome. Daniel THINKS he's awesome. Jamie kills everyone. Apart from Jacob.

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Q- what do you call a Jew swimming in the Antarctic? A- Dead, any man wouldn't survive swimming in water that cold

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what do you call justin bieber having sex baby baby baby oh

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Yo momma's so fat, however, she takes pride in her size because every body is beautiful.

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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