Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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WHO'S YO DADDY? the man who's semen combined with your mother's egg to create a child.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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what are you mike bibby?

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Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

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What's the difference between you and a sick duck? I forget the rest but your mother's a whore.

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Why did the teenage girl pee on a stick? She and her boyfriend had foolishly engaged in unprotected sex two weeks before, and she was now concerned that she may be pregnant.

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You know what I am gonna come up with that could potentially make me millions of dollars? An idea that could potentially make me millions of dollars.

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What do you call a 9 year old with no friends? A Sandyhook survivor.

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We are unhappy, unfilled because we cannot complete our dream, it is always about us, then again, is wanting the best for others being selfish?

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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;( ;( ANTIJOKE Write Your Own --------------------------------------------------------- It's easy to take part, just type your text below! Enter the following: I AM NOT A HUMAN Your Answer SOLVE media I AM NOT A HUMAN I have read and agree to the Terms of Service - View Terms of Service Submit

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Why did Jimmy throw butter out the window? Because he had down syndrome

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What's grey and can't swim? A Castle

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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I see said the blind man, to his deaf wife, as the cripple ran by.

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Roses are red, violets are blue No they're not, violets are violet

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Ammy Winehouse walks into a bar Don't you said we should stop jocking about dead people ?

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Why did the tomato blush? A tomato's complexion is already red so it simply appears to be blushing

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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