Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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What's that Lassie? Timmy fell in the well again? And you couldn't care less because the stupid kid never looks where he's going?

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What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

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What's the difference between a dead Blackman in the road and a dead dog in the road? There's skid marks in front of the dog.

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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Knock knock? Who's there? You have cancer.

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What's big, grey, and can't climb a tree? A car park.

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What was the best part of the holocaust? A: none of it, it was a terrible event in history and hopefully is never repeated

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Um no horses are overrated.

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Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

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What did the doctor say to the pregnant mother? Your babies dead

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Then help me understand Nero, people had the free and legal right to decide to be a part of our, or your society if you prefer, where has that option gone now? Where is the people that choose to believe in their own potential and in the one of their equals? Today we live in a society where its basically pop culture to dislike oneself, where it is considered narcissism to like oneself, and you know that we have both been affected, while those we considered allies before, have joined the same people that branded us evil.

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why was the little girl crying? Because her family was dead

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A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? She was dead

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Why did Bob get off the swing? Because he was done.

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42

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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