A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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What do you call a child that has been stabbed? A dead child

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What do you get when you run from Long Island to New Mexico? Tired.

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What is the most confusing day for chavs? Fathers day

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If Johnny has 5 apples and Susie has 7 apples, will they give them to the homeless?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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Who died first the cow or the cow? The Cow

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What did the bartender say when the black man walked into the bar? Hello, what would you like to drink?

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why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

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cerleb i wrote the one about melons!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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You mom is to dumb when she herd about Walgreens she thout all the walls were green

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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I brought a parachute as carry on luggage, I was pulled aside at security and missed my flight.

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A loving father took his two children to the park for a picnic. while the children went into the lake for a swim he drowned them both

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ...because chickens love to confound people.

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Honk if you're Amish!

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I went to the principle's office because I had a hard time reading They tried to tell me I was lesdistic

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A man in a car turned left at the end of his road. Then he proceeded .1 miles and turned left again, as his GPS instructed him.

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Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!

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i have a story to tell u!!! oh s*** i forgot!

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how could you not hav not died of dehyderation?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops