Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Wanna hear a hot headed retard? call and listen carefully 6196342668

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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Why was the kid running around? He was on fire

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road? A: toothpaste

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What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

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The last joke I tried to submit used "trolololol" as the enter code thing and I spelled it without the extra "lol" The lolz have got me again *this time it asked me for "basket case"

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How do you make a baby cry? You kill its mother.

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What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

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haiku for you ladies and gents My mother once said, "Slow and steady wins the race" She died in a fire.

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Psychics.

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gastapo

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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What's worse then having your wife leaving you? Taking the kids with her.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? "Get in the car Robin."

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How meny Jews can you fit in an ash-tray? None. There to big

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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why does beyonce sing " to the left, to the left"? - cause black people have no rights

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Knock Knock Who's there? There's a peephole on your door why don't you go ahead and look

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What is is one good thing about global Waming? Nothing.

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whats worse than killing people that have bags on their heads? finding out that the people that u have just killed were your own children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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