why did the drug dealer die... because he got terminal cancer and died during the first 3 weeks

Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

What kind of toy do you give to a dead baby? A death rattle.

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the salamander, macaroni and cheese.

There was a curtain who sneezed and then asked you for a tissue. He was in a room with two chairs a coffee table and a 37 year old bookcase, why did he sneeze???? Because he had a cold!!????

Why was the dog fallowing the fat guy. The fat guy said come.

Roses are red Violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

What happened when the Hispanic man dropped his Wollet? He picked it up

Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

Why was the little boy speechless? His best friend was just run over by a plow truck.

Puns are terrible. I love them.

Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

69

Your mother is so fat she has trouble finding clothes in her size.

A man with glasses and a cane walks out if a clothing store and accidentally bumps into a woman, knocking his hat off "Can't you watch where you're going?" the woman asks. The man then slaps her, knocking her to the ground. He picks up his new designer fedora, and drives off in his $90,000 Cadillac. The woman, after dusting herself off, gets the guy's plates, convinces a few witnesses to testify against the man, and informs the authorities of an assault. He was later arrested for assault as well as pimping and soliciting sex. He is found guilty in a court of law and is sentenced to 2-5 years in prison, and is doled a hefty fine.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face"? The horse does not respond, because it is a horse and lacks any cognitive ability to speak or understand English. Instead, it becomes confused by its surroundings, takes a dump on the floor, and gallops out of the bar knocking a few tables over in the process.

Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

why were maddie and maddy and rachel and jill all friends? we all enjoy pizza

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven kind of looked like an alligator.

Mom: what does IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, and talk to you later. Mom: OK, I'll ask your sister.

Why did the american block the road? Because he just ate at Mc donalds.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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